April 2010
7 posts
april 29
We’ve all surrendered, in more ways than one, to our death which we can see just above the horizon. But I’m not going to speak of the sky and the misfortunes it brings. I’m talking about the people I know, some I wish I didn’t, for they invade my dreams and twist them into nightmares of some sort. They have surrendered. I have surrendered.. to life? To the struggles set out...
april 27
dear jude, the mutation of self is normal. The mutation of self is normal. Occurring all too often. But that’s the way we like it. We like living on the edges of cliffs looking out onto rough black seas. The turmoil period is almost over. In comes the dissociation. More and more I am feeling detached from reality, numb almost, like my psyche has run out of oil. Everyone I know is teetering...
april 26
Confessshhhhinnns. Here lies a drug addict. Here lies the dead people I once knew.
april 22
My memories are all blurry most of the time. All cut up and re-arranged. I don’t know what this determines, but it is unsettling. Memories of yesterday are strange, as if they don’t belong to me. But I have accepted that life will be strange for me, but perhaps I have not accepted that you must live life. I don’t want another fifty years please. It seems such a waste. My death...
april 20
I live on the brink of something. Which road to follow? Which pill to take? Oh no, it’s morning. Another so many hours until sleep takes over. Panic is in my blood, literally travelling through me at all times. It is restless, my invisible predator. Every morning I am plagued with the thoughts of two people who have stolen what was left of my confidence, my heart, passion to even write,...
april 19
This is a documentation of how the sky turned black and fell like oil into our mouths. This is a butchered story. It is unreeled in fragments, mismatched information, a smile captured though the photograph is smudged. Though combined reveals a confederacy of ruined lives and identity thieves. There’s no beginning to this story. It all seems a blur to me, but there is always some storm coming to...